Game-Set-Match

Spinach, chevre cheese, pine nuts, grape tomatoes, lemon, olive oil, salt and pepper. DAMMIT, no artichoke hearts but still one of the most refreshing summer salads!

On The First Month of Parenting

I'm all salty and old at being a mom now that the babe is a whole month old, so I think I know everything. Just like since I've been through 9 months-give or take-of pregnancy, I also think I am the authority on all things pre and post natal.

Or not...

There are a lot of things that I was not expecting to happen that did. I'm not sure if I wish I had known either, because planning ahead either way probably would not have worked for me. Like, the pain I was having in my groin during pregnancy. Seriously, is it necessary to feel like I just fell onto the center bar of a man's bike for 24 hours a day? Maybe not so much. How could I have planned for that? Nothing you do makes it any better. Maybe an ice pack at night would have helped-that would have been super sexy, on top of the sexy waddle I developed in the last month. Yep, I had strangers asking for my number I was so hot. What I was expecting was insane cravings. That did not happen. Sure, I wanted comfort food but was I craving it so bad that I sent my husband out at 2am? Nope, and even if I had planned on cravings-how do you prepare ahead of time for that?

Hmmm, what else could have prepared me for: Being induced two weeks early; having my new son scare the hell out of my family and I when he didn't cry after he arrived; watching my child in the nursery the first night, monitored and on oxygen; an impossibly long, sleepless 2nd night in the hospital trying unsuccessfully to get my son to latch on; postpartum setting on a week after he was born and feeling so impossibly anxious and hopeless that I couldn't sleep; missing work and all the people around me as I'm stuck inside with this new little being I'm not sure I can take care of but so needs me to take care of him. I'm secretly wishing I could go back to work-where I'm sure of myself and good at what I do. Life around me was moving along as normal as I have to learn how to do something that can't be taught. I don't care how many books you've read-nothing can prepare you for it. Books, in my opinion are a generalization that can be helpful at times but do not focus on the needs of individual children. How can they? We are each completely different. Yes, all babies have similar, basic needs but just like each of us, they have teeny tiny personalities and need to be cared for accordingly.

It's work, and it's a learning curve, but it's worth it. As I type and pause to hold an itty bitty hand or rub a belly and listen to a little voice hum to himself or to me, this new little voice that has only been heard for a month in this great big world...oh boy is it worth it!

YUM!

Favorite splurges that I allow myself while I've been pregnant, just because...

1. NUMERO UNO is absolutely Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream, I've decided that this has to be THE most perfect food ever created...well, this and Jefe's homemade strawberry ice cream, but he's only been able to make it once since I've been expecting our little man.

2. A loaf of sourdough bread from Henry's-HAS to be Henry's and their chicken tortilla soup, I couldn't come close to making it if I tried!

3. Udon Noodles from Samurai

4. Spaghetti and Meatballs

5. Sweet Potato fries with chipotle dressing from the Manhattan Brew Co.

6. Homemade chocolate chip cookies

7. Honey Bunches of Oats-2 bowls at a time, thank you very much!

8. Toast: either with butter and raspberry/blackberry preserves OR with peanut butter and honey

9. Yellow mustard and cheese sammiches-untoasted, mozzarella, on wheat

10. Grilled cheese sammich: havarti, swiss, gouda, sourdough or squaw grilled with a nice couple pats of butter and plenty of yellow mustard for dipping

Yep...this baby likes comfort food, not really sure what that's all about cos my theory was always you crave what you need. I think the baby was just HUNGRY but momma has only been willing to allow bebe these little treats once in a while for fear of both a giant baby and a giant-er belly!

My Thoughts in the Last Ten Minutes

Noodle issue: Just happened with some reheated rice. Remind me, why do I look at pictures of meal worms when I know they gross me out and only contribute to my phobias?

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Still haven't felt the baby kick. I'm thinking it either means I am going to have a stubborn child or will be one of the lucky moms who gets their infant to sleep through the night within a month. Hint: I'm not necessarily what you'd call a "lucky" person.

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Is a mortgage almost 2 grand higher than we pay for rent worth living on my favorite street in Fullerton?

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I feel like I see a belly, but everytime I mention it, I get shot down by husband. Either I've always looked this puffy or I'm eating the average person's weekly salt intake in one day.

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The Snuggie is BS and the "ultra soft fleece" is actually synthetic, nasty, staticky fleece. I cannot imagine something I'd rather have further away from my body.

Oh the Joys of Having a 17 Week Old Baby

dot dot dot In my BELLY dot dot dot

Actually, despite the sarcasm in the title, it's been closer to normal life than I expected. Sure...everybody has been staring at my tummy to see if it's grown anymore each day. Oh yeah, I've also become a giant crybaby-pretty disconcerting for people that know me well. Aaaand, I'm crazy-like hormonal, over the top, fly off the handle insane. I'm lucky I have a husband that is an emotional rock and friends that were anticipating this cossss-I'm CRAZY! Anyway, when I'm not crazy, I'm pretty happy and luckily, the "episodes" last about two seconds and then back to normal! Ooooh, I just read that and it looked even worse. Eh-whatevah.

Sooooo...did anyone else know that your pregnant belly gets bigger as the day goes on? Yeah, I didn't. Yesterday it got bigger earlier. Like, driving to work earlier. Like...had to unbotton my jeans in the car aaaand, unbottoned them everytime I sat down at my desk. I promptly bought a bella band and am tempted to buy the one pair of maternity jeans I am alotting myself for this whole thing. I'm not a fan of jeans anyway (constricting, tight, NOT comfortable, feeling like my belly is always hanging out no matter what size they are-you get the picture) but I have a feeling it might rain a few more times before this babe arrives so I am only buying out of necessity.

Maternity ANYTHING by the way, seems overly priced and to be honest, not my favorite type of clothing. Think schoolmarm, trying to hide a giant watermelon of a belly under a LOT of fabric and print. For instance:




REALLY? That top isn't even the worst one-they are BAD! Yeah, thanks for the awesome prints! I might as well just wear a shirt with some 2 inch thick horizontal stripes across it to just accentuate my growing selt. Those pants-ummmm, could you pick a more conspicuous and inconvenient place for a pocket? I really want to know-who thought this was going to be a good idea. I'm convinced that whoever designed this stuff has either never been pregnant or they think that a pregnant woman is not supposed to look all that attractive. I've been pretty frustrated looking for things to wear during the 2nd and inevitably larger half of my pregnancy so I've pretty much vowed that I will only buy when there is NO OTHER OPTION. Basically, I've just been stocking up extra long t-shirts from Urban Outfitters and the like. I've also acquired a tunic here and there plus, for all my tank tops and comfy days, I've got my eyes on a yummy pair of non-maternity cargo pants, I think they'll be a pretty good alternative what with the elastic waistband. Otherwise, I'm stoked that the majority of my uncomfortable last trimester is going to be spent in the warmer months. All I'm sayin' is-thank GOD I'm a floaty sundress and flip-flop girl because other than the extra staples I'm pretty set. Now...for a place to put the bebe. Aw geez, here we go again!

TOP CHEF SHENANIGANS!!!

So did anyone else watch Top Chef last week?

First off, I am a little disappointed at the elimination, but I guess it's no surprise since the team leader of the losing restaurant during the "Restaurant Wars" challenge usually goes home. But I really liked Radhika! I think she was innovative and much more talented than some of the chefs that are lucky enough to stay. I know the judges new "policy" is to consider how the chefs performed only at each individual challenge, but I think that overall performance should be taken into consideration.

Anyway, what really got me this week was freaking Leah and Hosea's little makeout sesh! I know, it's not about morals, it's about how you cook etc...etc...but the whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, who lays on the couch and cuddles with some "friend" like that when you have a significant other??? In a one-on-one interview, Hosea is saying, "I CAN'T let it happen". So, how about this...don't lay on the couch with some chick and maybe lay off on the excessive flirting. I'm just sayin', do they not realize there is a cameraman EVERYWHERE? I love it that Hosea described it as "Last night Leah and I did a little too much flirting." Really? This is what we're calling it now, Hosea? I would love to hear him try to phrase it that way to his girlfriend, I'm sure that would go over real well. Whatever, they've been bugging me the last couple weeks, but now I really want Leah to go away and feel sorry for herself off camera. Hosea just needs to get over Stefan's competitiveness. It's a COMPETITION.

Oh it's gotten me all flustery now! I can't wait 'til Wednesday, just one episode closer to one of them going home!

HMMMMMM....

I was just pouring the last of some leftover Udon down the drain and wondered to myself....

"What if that last little noodle started wiggling around in the sink and swam down the drain and I realized too late there was actually a worm in my yummy soup?"

Why do I think about things like this again??? I just made my belly button hurt.

Everything is better with Pepper Jack Cheese

Seriously...or maybe I'm just in denial about not being able to eat brie.

merry merry...

It's been a pretty rad day, I wish I had pictures!

Left work about noon, came home and enjoyed a hot lunch and some homemade triple citrus cheesecake. Bought my last gift-in and out of Barnes and Noble in 8.3 minutes (or something like that). Ran to the hospital, Jefe printed out a couple of pictures of the bebe Jesus for us to show off. Sauntered off to one of my dearest locals' house, helped the kids feed the reindeer, watched a couple of Christmas concerts by Miss Madeline and Boo, fed my peeps with some homemade tamales. I am now full of roasted chile, corn, and cheese.

I'm home, cozy...relaxed...satisfied...and full of life and future. It couldn't have been a better day, year, life!

Happy Holidays to you and yours! I hope everyone is feeling the love!!!

Traffic Musings From the Working Lady

I love my morning and afternoon drive...it gives me time to be by myself with my thoughts, or music, or Adam Carolla. Too bad I hate the other people on the road. Here are some revelations that came to me during the lovely Monday morning commute:

*I'm pretty sure that you have to pass some sort of "Most inconsiderate, unaware of how ginormous and slow my vehicle is" driving test in order to drive an Astro van.

*The freeway signs that give you an estimated time frame of how long it will take you to get from point A to point B are: 1) completely inaccurate and most importantly 2) make traffic ten times worse because of all the a-holes that are trying to stare at it through the glare of the sun.

*Does it REALLY take some people 100 yards to merge into the left hand turn lane??? Seriously...GET IT TOGETHER

*Could it be possible that the same people who don't know what they're doing on the freeway on Saturdays are on the road on Monday morning with the rest of us who actually know how to navigate in heavy traffic?

*Why is it that everyone and their mom decides to get on the road on Thursdays at 5. Seriously...what is it about Thursday that makes traffic so bad? I don't get it! It's consistently THE worst night to be on the 91 East, or any freeway for that matter.

*How is it that it has taken literally over 7 years that the carpool lanes on the 91 to be re-worked...and they're STILL NOT F'ING FINISHED!!!

*Accidents would be cut in half if: a) people learned to use their turn signals; b) people weren't too lazy to check their blind spot; c) tailgaters were fined $1500; d) people didn't wait until the last minute to merge out of an ending carpool lane that HAS ENDED AT THE SAME SPOT IN THE FREEWAY FOR OVER 7 YEARS NOW!!! I SEE THE SAME PEOPLE DO IT EVERY DAY I SWEAR TO F'ING HELL!!!

Ok, I feel better. Hmmm...maybe I should consider public transportation. On the other hand, I think I'd rather be in my own little personal space instead of confined in a small area with the rest of the sweaty...filthy...aw, nevermind.

Well The Weather Outside Is...

Hot, windy, and full of smoke, so how about a list of the soups I plan to make when it finally does start getting cold???

1. Minestrone: an absolute MUST, I tend to make way too much of it and the man isn't really into soups so it's alllll foooooor mmeeeee!!!

2. Spicy Bean Soup: a Giada recipe...she kind of bugs me, but MAN this recipe is SO good. I add kidney beans and omit one of the cans of garbanzo beans. It's really good with cornbread, and I have a sneaking suspicion that adding a little pancetta in the beginning would be DE-lectable!

3. Mmmm, chicken tortilla from my Making It Easy recipe book. Perfect combination of spice and acidity-think chicken soup for your cold with a kick. I like to start it with a mirpois combined with the chipotle and garlic. Also, a little super ripe avocado on top is pretty sweet.

4. Butternut squash FOR SURE

5. Wild mushroom-creamy and SO satisfying.

6. Potato Leek: Anyone have a good recipe? I don't want it to be too thick.

7. Albondigas: Staple from when I was little that I've never tried...I think I could rock it pretty hard.

8. Creamy tomato basil: I am SO gonna kick Jefe's ass on this one. He thinks he's all special since he made it AND made homemade sourdough bowls for it to go in!

9. HMMMMM, maybe I can come up with my own ultimate stew. Ooooh like a nice spicy stew with rosemary and a little beef loin, red potatoes, carrot, celery, shallot. Gotta work on that

10. Does rice pudding count? Whatever, you say...it counts and I'm making it!!!

the movie you can wait to see on TV

So you know how there's that one movie that you can talk about and recommend to your friends and blog about and post as movies you like on your myspace/facebook/friendster and additional networking accounts????

Ummmm, "Shoot 'Em Up" would not be one of those. Save it for one of those nights when it happens to be on FX or SPIKE or any other basic cable channel. Whatever you do, do NOT add it to your Netflix Queue, do NOT rent it at Blockbuster, for god's sake do NOT order it on freaking On Demand, just wait for it to show up on your favorite basic cable network and see if you can make it through the first 3 rounds of channel-changing to avoid the horrible Carl's Jr. commercials you will inevitably encounter otherwise.

I am officially truly depressed that two of my favorites-Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti chose this script. I'm sorry-it was terrible, it was not very engaging, and seriously...DISAPPOINTING. I'm wondering how they coerced these people to even read the script. For your own good-DON'T DO IT!!!!

and another thing...

So after I wrote the enormously self-indulgent post below, I happened across a few of my favorite blogs and got to thinking. Why do I love them? Why do I continuosly go back. Sure, there's the aesthetic appeal, there's humor, there's incredibly good writing...but somehow...there's more. These people, they just seem genuinely happy and so comfortable in their lives. Sure, we all have a public persona and I doubt everyone shares ALL their dirty laundry, but somehow the writers tend to speak with a calm sense of just having it together.

Then I got to thinking (of course about ME, because I'm completely self absorbed), I always want to know how people see me as I go through my daily life. What do people think when I'm around and doing my thing? How do they see things when I'm talking quietly in the corner or walk into a room loudly talking to one of my best friends? I suppose only my nearest and dearest would really tell me, but let's face it...their opinions are, like mine, biased. I figure the only way to figure it out is to just be SURE of it, like the blog writers I mentioned. Just dive in and be.

To be honest, I know as I scroll through old things I've written...it's hard for me to leave remnants of bitter and painful memories out of my written thoughts. It's hard to not think about my little dog and not to write about him every time he pops up in my head. He's just there...gone, but always there. I think about people that were in my life that have somehow been removed. I miss them so much, regardless of the circumstances. So many entries have been written, only to be immediately erased after reading how angry and mean I can be. I suppose it all goes back to my mom's little voice saying not to write a letter when you're angry. She's right. I scan back through and realize how stupid, selfish, and stubborn I sound. This is not the person I want to be, nor is it the person I would want anyone to remember, why add more fuel to the fire?

The point is, that people will come and go. I would love to have some of them back in my life and this is why those entries are erased. This is why I try not to let my anger get the best of me (I know...I know, I use the term rather loosely). Regardless of why or how things are the way they are...whether I'm hearing reasons a year or so later or will just never have an answer...it just IS, and I have to be fine with that. There truly is so much that makes me happy and I will try to share more. Waking up in our ginormous, soft, warm bed...the coolness of our patio...the pretty little girl I drew last night. OH and the smell of a California fall in the air. It really is a beautiful day and I'm so grateful for my peaceful little life, I guess I just sometimes wish that some of the people I used to share it with daily were still around.

An Epiphany!!! Or random thoughts...

Vampire Weekend took the Wiltern, flipped it upside down and spanked us HARD on Thursday...and it was good.

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The apartment is officially 3/4 clean, I'm outside on the patio, stuffed into a shell chair, it's about 70• outside and I'm about to make a margarita. Jesus, it's not even 12!!!

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Heading up to the Bowl tonight for a little MGMT, Spoon and some Scientologist (dammit! if it wasn't like finding out one of your best friends was a murderer) AAANNNNDDD if I'm lucky, I get to enjoy a little Blood and Sand tonight. TORO!!!! Seriously, I'm my favorite lush. Wait, strike that...I'm EVERYONE'S favorite lush.

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The breakfast I'm going to be making tomorrow is going to fucking rock the house. I don't pull the homemaker thing too often, but when I do, I would say it's more of a Bourdaine thing...at least he's a chef. Rachel Ray can suck it, suck it HARD.

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Did anyone know how much I loved the Bee Gee's, The Doobie Brothers, Hall and Oates, and Elton John? I didn't.

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This margarita is DELICIOUS!!!

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aaaaannnndd...

WE'RE OFF!!!

I'm exhausted. Yeah...I know vacation was barely a month ago-but it was a long month full of travel, hard work, yet ANOTHER pair of new red shoes (due to the unfortunate breaking of a year old pair), and various social obligations that have kept my weeknights and weekends quite busy.

Anyway, off to another whirlwind break in the Palm Desert for one of my dearest's birthdays. I plan to come back tan, hungover, and wanting another break from the break! Then we have bocce, another wine trip or bar crawl and a high school reunion. Does anyone else feel like it NEVER ENDS??? I guess it could be worse and I could have little to no social engagements, but geez it can be tiring!!! I need some SCOTCH!

Open Sesame

So, my new fave cookbook is "Making It Easy".



The boy's mom was nice enough to give it to me-she loves to give me cookbooks and I love to receive them! It has all sorts of yummy and super fast recipes that require little effort. Perfect for my schedule and...ummm, OK...frequent laziness after work? Anyway, hands down the best dish I've tried so far is the sesame noodles with chicken. Oh my god, it is SO delicious!!! Talk about everything I love about asian and asian inspired foods! Soy Sauce, peanuts, sesame and loads of noodles-I'm IN!!!

So I had my mom and dad over last night and decided to treat them with this and my other new favorite-Zucchini Carpaccio stolen from my boyfriend, Tyler Florence. I wish I had taken a picture, both are such pretty dishes!

Anyway, I highly recommend the book, almost everything I've tried has come out really nicely and is a hit with our company. Pick it upon Amazon aqui!!! I'm just sayin'. Oh and here are the links to the Carpaccio (I leave out the ricotta and the mint and use a little tarragon, oregano and marjoram and go heavy on the lemon juice and leeks) and the Noodles. I would leave the cucumber out next time-or at least peel or score the skin-it is just a teesy bit too bitter. I also used whole wheat pasta, which alone with the sesame oil was SO good!! I think I'm going to have the cold noodles tomorrow with a little soy, scallions,sesame seeds and Srirracha-YUM!

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Vacation

in no particular order...probably not all that original, but a girls' gotta celebrate!!!

1. I can enjoy our beautiful weather, actually outside, not staring out a window...all day long...by a poooool!

2. I can prepare for said day by the pool by purchasing some cocktail makings and not feel guilty because I am actually getting paid to hang out by the pool-sweet!

3. I get to catch up with all my mommy friends who have totally opposite schedules than I do and catch up with their beautiful babies.

4. I actually get to open the door when these arrive via DHL instead of Jefe having to sign for them...



5. It's noon, I'm on the couch, I'm watching afternoon TV and I have a giant glass of yummy wine in my hand.

6. I get to make breakfast for my babes like banana pancakes and delicious fritattas daily!

7. I get to make delicous dinners without being on a time constraint.

8. No alarm clock for a week!

9. Lunch with my mom and dad at the beach.

10. Fourth of July at the beach with my best buds...keeping the dream alive!

Supper Club Anyone?

Ahhh...to be back at work! The morning and evening commute down the lovely 91, the non-stop emails, being on the computer so much each day that honestly...just haven't been in the blogging mood lately. Well there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and I am inspired-by food of course!

So I've been doing the whole Weight Watchers thing which means the man and I haven't been going out to dinner as often as we used to but seeing as how it was Mother's Day weekend, I decided to take advantage of the holiday and take a weekend OFF! That and the whole diet (well they claim it's not a diet but who are they kidding?) thing is actually working, so I decided I could treat myself. Anyway, we found ourselves at Manhattan Supper Club in Orange on Saturday night. I have to say I would go back-seriously....like every weekend if I could.

Opened by the same people who brought us Sutra, the decor is equally impressive PLUS you don't have to deal with the long line of people trying to get in. I think the interior was very Viceroy-esque, a little Rococo meets modern if you will. White walls with framed mirrors, fabulous chandeliers and plushly covered booths. Dimly-but not too dimly lit and perfect background music. All lent an equally helping hand to the already relaxing environment.

Although they were out of the pork chop I was REALLY looking forward to, my filet was perfect and came with I think about 8 choices of sauces-mmmm rich carmelized onions, sweet blueberry-merlot reduction, creamy blue cheese melt-all RIDICULOUS! We finished with the molten chocolate cake which is probably the only thing that has come even remotely close to the chocolate soufflee at 555, but don't get me started. Needless to say we had a great time. They also sell little cabinets where you can store your wine. I thought it was a nice kitschy little touch.

So-next time you're in downtown orange, check it out! Site and menu can be found here. We recently started doing a little supper club type deal with some friends and I'm thinking this will definitely be one of my picks...you should make it yours too!!!

It's a mad MAD world

I don't know about anyone else...but this weekend was a total blur due to a little East Coast team football game PLUS the excitement of the primaries has left us with little time to focus on our regularly scheduled TV shows. Well, last night...before catching up on a little No Reservations, I was excited to see that there was an episode of Madmen our trusty little DVR had recorded...yeah, just sitting there waiting to be viewed by my eager eyes.

I'm still kicking myself over dragging my feet on automatically programming this into our scheduled recordings after a friend had highly recommended it. Produced by those who also brought us The Sopranos, Madmen is equally high in production value. Set in mid 20th century Manhattan and based around a Madison avenue advertising agency, it's glossy set design, authentic costuming, a superb ensemble cast as well as engrossing storylines, I am absolutely hooked. Though much of the plot is devoted to one lead, each episode sheds a little more light on at least one additional surrounding character. It not only leads to the complexity of each role, but I think it also lets the audience empathize with more than one storyline. Additionally, the writers make it a point to comment on the differences in the social workings of the 1960's as compared to today's norms. Everyone drinks, everyone smokes, divorcees and working women are shunned, and the wives are at home while the husbands provide for them, both equally miserable in their canned happiness.

Needless to say, I suggest anyone with a soft spot for mid-century anything should absolutely check it out. The only downside...it doesn't come back until FREAKING JULY!!! Ugh...and I thought the wait for LOST was bad!

Check out more information on MADMEN here.

So long...hopefully, not for long

OK.

I'm not going to bullshit around. Overall, the past year has had some pretty sucky stuff happen. Shall we review?

Hrmmmm....my gramma passed away, my dog died, I realized some of the people in my life were more willing to go with someone else's opinion of me, rather than stick with what they knew. Should I go on? Oh yeah, I lost my job. Suffice it to say, I felt a little low last week.

Nevertheless, time goes on and things get better, right? Looking at the brighter side of the year...

One of my dearest friends gave birth to a beautiful little girl who amazes me with how much she's grown and learned each time I see her. My brother got married to a girl that is absolutely perfect for him and I'm lucky to call her my sister in law. I actually have about a little over a month of (ahem) paid vacation and the weather has never been more perfect. The people in my life that matter and know me best are still in my day to day life, and I theirs. So in hindsight, at least I'm still living and breathing, plus I know I'll be all the better after these experiences that have not been so pleasant.

I've been feeling better this week and it's nice to have some time off that actually works with Geoff's scheduled off time, so we've been hanging out and (gasp!) actually having a lot of fun together. Anyway, I finally threw my resume together and it's time to start throwing myself back out into the big scary world of the job search. Unfortunately, this also means that I'm going to have to close this little personal thing down for a bit and move on to something a bit more professional. Link to come...just in case anyone out there really wants to see my attempt to woo potential employers with my fancy skills.

Catch ya on the upside and hell yes, I'll be laughing all the way.