OK.
I'm not going to bullshit around. Overall, the past year has had some pretty sucky stuff happen. Shall we review?
Hrmmmm....my gramma passed away, my dog died, I realized some of the people in my life were more willing to go with someone else's opinion of me, rather than stick with what they knew. Should I go on? Oh yeah, I lost my job. Suffice it to say, I felt a little low last week.
Nevertheless, time goes on and things get better, right? Looking at the brighter side of the year...
One of my dearest friends gave birth to a beautiful little girl who amazes me with how much she's grown and learned each time I see her. My brother got married to a girl that is absolutely perfect for him and I'm lucky to call her my sister in law. I actually have about a little over a month of (ahem) paid vacation and the weather has never been more perfect. The people in my life that matter and know me best are still in my day to day life, and I theirs. So in hindsight, at least I'm still living and breathing, plus I know I'll be all the better after these experiences that have not been so pleasant.
I've been feeling better this week and it's nice to have some time off that actually works with Geoff's scheduled off time, so we've been hanging out and (gasp!) actually having a lot of fun together. Anyway, I finally threw my resume together and it's time to start throwing myself back out into the big scary world of the job search. Unfortunately, this also means that I'm going to have to close this little personal thing down for a bit and move on to something a bit more professional. Link to come...just in case anyone out there really wants to see my attempt to woo potential employers with my fancy skills.
Catch ya on the upside and hell yes, I'll be laughing all the way.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
WILL IT EVER END????
Just when I'm thinking everything is fine and I'm going along with life as usual (having taken a day off-finally) after trying to push out the dealing with the loss of the pups...I keep having itty bitty breakdowns.
See, I thought things were good. I thought that I had taken that one day to cry and let my eyes stay puffy for over a day and a half, but little things keep coming back. I'm checking out my space pictures-frankie...I go to bed-Frankie's collar on the nigtstand...I have dreams-frankie is trying to jump up on the bed.
Yes, it's painful and yes, I miss him so very very much that I can barely talk about it; however, at the same tiime, he gave me so much love and happiness that I would take every second of pain I'm going through over not having had him at all.
The best dog in the whole wide world and I obviously miss him infinitely.....
Saturday, July 14, 2007
This is the Day
This is the day
This is the day I was dreading
This is the day I had prepared myself for
This is one of the days I will never forget
And one that I'll never regret
This is a day I cry and sigh and remember and dream
This day I write and have nothing to say
I have nothing to feel but loss and pain and the tears rolling down my face every five minutes
On this day, my little guy goes
His body was too old and weak and said no more
This is the day he barks
This is the day he prances in parks
Of color and he's with his momma who we took him from when he was too young
And my gramma who knew he was a gift I'd love
In his little box he looks up at me, whimpering and scared
I hold him in one hand, his tiny litle puggy face looking up at me
I see his little trot
I smell his little paws
I see his face black, and salt and pepper and white
I hope his tail is curled
I hope he knew how very much he was loved
I will miss him forever
This is the day I was dreading
This is the day I had prepared myself for
This is one of the days I will never forget
And one that I'll never regret
This is a day I cry and sigh and remember and dream
This day I write and have nothing to say
I have nothing to feel but loss and pain and the tears rolling down my face every five minutes
On this day, my little guy goes
His body was too old and weak and said no more
This is the day he barks
This is the day he prances in parks
Of color and he's with his momma who we took him from when he was too young
And my gramma who knew he was a gift I'd love
In his little box he looks up at me, whimpering and scared
I hold him in one hand, his tiny litle puggy face looking up at me
I see his little trot
I smell his little paws
I see his face black, and salt and pepper and white
I hope his tail is curled
I hope he knew how very much he was loved
I will miss him forever
Saturday, July 07, 2007
I Feel So Used
So it has happened...
After about 10 years of carrying around a debit card with virtually no problems, somehow my information has been stolen and all...that's right ALL of my payecheck (direct deposited on thursday night) has been drained. Even better, I happened to check my account this morning around 12:30 in the midst of some baking chipotle cornbread. You can imagine how easy it was for me to fall asleep.
Even better...my most trusted bank, which I have sworn by for years, has NO 24 hour 800 number service for it's members. The panic of finding this out while desperately trying to cancel my cards was absolutlely INFURIATING!!!!! So what do I do next? The only logical thing...wake up my husband, who has to get up around 5 this morning for work. Of course, he comes to all the dead ends I had convinced myself were just result of my panicked rushing around the website. His final exclamations were no less than how much my bank sucked and how unbelievable it was that there is absolutely NO ONE available to talk to when you notice an issue around 12:30 am on a Saturday morning. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???? The best part is that Jefe had just gone through this with one of his credit cards and guess what??? THE FUCKING BANK CALLED HIM BECAUSE THE ACTIVITY ON IT WAS UNUSUAL. Basically, they did what a bank/credit card vendor should do, which is protect the money and credit of their client.
At this point, I'm not sure what I'm more angry at. My bank, or the fucker who took all my money out and left a transaction on my bank statement that loudly and clearly reads "Pechanga". Actually, screw the missing money, I just don't want people thinking I go to Pechanga goddammit. I'm just saying, just when it seems like things are going pretty good, something like this happens to swiftly set me back into the reality of how unpredictable life is.
After about 10 years of carrying around a debit card with virtually no problems, somehow my information has been stolen and all...that's right ALL of my payecheck (direct deposited on thursday night) has been drained. Even better, I happened to check my account this morning around 12:30 in the midst of some baking chipotle cornbread. You can imagine how easy it was for me to fall asleep.
Even better...my most trusted bank, which I have sworn by for years, has NO 24 hour 800 number service for it's members. The panic of finding this out while desperately trying to cancel my cards was absolutlely INFURIATING!!!!! So what do I do next? The only logical thing...wake up my husband, who has to get up around 5 this morning for work. Of course, he comes to all the dead ends I had convinced myself were just result of my panicked rushing around the website. His final exclamations were no less than how much my bank sucked and how unbelievable it was that there is absolutely NO ONE available to talk to when you notice an issue around 12:30 am on a Saturday morning. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???? The best part is that Jefe had just gone through this with one of his credit cards and guess what??? THE FUCKING BANK CALLED HIM BECAUSE THE ACTIVITY ON IT WAS UNUSUAL. Basically, they did what a bank/credit card vendor should do, which is protect the money and credit of their client.
At this point, I'm not sure what I'm more angry at. My bank, or the fucker who took all my money out and left a transaction on my bank statement that loudly and clearly reads "Pechanga". Actually, screw the missing money, I just don't want people thinking I go to Pechanga goddammit. I'm just saying, just when it seems like things are going pretty good, something like this happens to swiftly set me back into the reality of how unpredictable life is.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
$%%^&%^((*&$#%^()&
Oh my FUCKIKNG hell!!!!
I just read this article about Joe Francis. I want to fucking kill everyone. You know, I see the Girls Gone Wild commercials (ha ha). I see the SNL skit with Kate Hudson, where her parents see her on Girls Gone Wild (ha ha).
This article, not so ha ha. Not only does it expose Joe Francis for the loveable little spoiled fuck we all knew was lurking behind an excessively creepy smile (see #1 in the photo gallerry....CREEEEPYYYYY), but I think it shows a little more under the surface than I personally would like to see. I suppose it doesn't so much bother me that the girls are being coerced into doing what he wants and getting paid virtually nothing. It's more like the mentality that they might think that something like this would actually make them famous. Not sure what podunk freaking out in the wilderness town they came from, but WHAT THE HELL!!!! This is most obviously displayed through Kaitlyn Bultema's remarks. Ummm, honey....we can see by your picture (oh and please look, I think she's #9 in the photo gallery) that the rest of the world really could go without your "hotness", not saying they shouldn't...just saying that they're not missing anything. I mean, I can't even really remember what you look like now, and I think I saw the picture just a couple minutes ago.
Anyway, although this little rant is mostly falling on deaf ears...if you do happen to read, let me know if your face is as red and your hands are as virtually clenched as mine!!!
I just read this article about Joe Francis. I want to fucking kill everyone. You know, I see the Girls Gone Wild commercials (ha ha). I see the SNL skit with Kate Hudson, where her parents see her on Girls Gone Wild (ha ha).
This article, not so ha ha. Not only does it expose Joe Francis for the loveable little spoiled fuck we all knew was lurking behind an excessively creepy smile (see #1 in the photo gallerry....CREEEEPYYYYY), but I think it shows a little more under the surface than I personally would like to see. I suppose it doesn't so much bother me that the girls are being coerced into doing what he wants and getting paid virtually nothing. It's more like the mentality that they might think that something like this would actually make them famous. Not sure what podunk freaking out in the wilderness town they came from, but WHAT THE HELL!!!! This is most obviously displayed through Kaitlyn Bultema's remarks. Ummm, honey....we can see by your picture (oh and please look, I think she's #9 in the photo gallery) that the rest of the world really could go without your "hotness", not saying they shouldn't...just saying that they're not missing anything. I mean, I can't even really remember what you look like now, and I think I saw the picture just a couple minutes ago.
Anyway, although this little rant is mostly falling on deaf ears...if you do happen to read, let me know if your face is as red and your hands are as virtually clenched as mine!!!
i HATE it!!!!
And you will too!!! I've added my li'l gnome friend's blog to my bookmarks. I think it would make anyone want to puke and laugh at the same time. I know...TEMPTING to read on a daily basis.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Self-induced Insomnia
So I'm having a little trouble sleeping due to the fact that I can't stop thinking about my little pups...
He's getting old and has had a nice long life, but it doesn't make the idea of his not being there one day any easier. Of course, then I start to think of what I would write about him when his day does come and ohhhh I'm getting old and I think with each passing year, much less salty (quite the opposite of what I believe is supposed to happen as you get older). Needless to say, my eyes are puffy.
Anyway, I guess I just needed to quickly get it off my chest and hopefully cure the bout of insomnia. If only I could find a way to turn my brain off for at least 7 hours...
PS: Oh mark, woe is me....
He's getting old and has had a nice long life, but it doesn't make the idea of his not being there one day any easier. Of course, then I start to think of what I would write about him when his day does come and ohhhh I'm getting old and I think with each passing year, much less salty (quite the opposite of what I believe is supposed to happen as you get older). Needless to say, my eyes are puffy.
Anyway, I guess I just needed to quickly get it off my chest and hopefully cure the bout of insomnia. If only I could find a way to turn my brain off for at least 7 hours...
PS: Oh mark, woe is me....
Saturday, March 03, 2007
The Napa Lowdown
By the way...I was just looking at my profile to see if I had more than 5 viewers and realized that my "industry" is listed as "fashion". Now...it IS true that I listed it as such; however, I feel the need for a small disclaimer...or just a few. Ok, so 1) Yes, I suppose where I work would be considered a facet of the "fashion" industry", but when it comes down to it, it's just shoes; 2) I don't think that I'm shallow enought to consider myself a true member of the "fashion" industry, although some of the people that have met me may claim that I am totally incorrect in my thinking; 3) Of course I love clothes and shopping, but that is only a teeny tiny part of who I am and I don't really appreciate people making judgements on me based on my spending habits, I suppose in my mind, that would be like judging a person based on whether or not they have watched the Star Wars Trilogy in one sitting...oh wait.
Ok, so on to the real reason for all this blither. We were lucky to once again visit Napa this past weekend and it was another memorable experience to say the least. Let's see, there was Stags' leap (not Stag's Leap Cellars, mind you, the Vineyard...that's right, with the apostraphe AFTER the "S" as Geoff mentioned many times on our trip). There was another Mustard's rendezvous...and there was much pain on the last day. Nevertheless, it was a good time and I just wanted to recap with my favorite and less well known wineries visited, just in case anyone planning on visiting anytime soon was interested. So without further ado...
Provenance-Small and cozy tasting room, friendly pour staff...deeeelishhh Cabernet and their port is super smoky and has a super clean and clear finish. I think what I enjoyed most was how cozy it was, especially after we ran in and out of the rain, plus it was the first place I was able to enjoy the sound of Sean slurping the wine up...mmm sounded just like a kid blowing bubbles into his mouth.
HaGafen-Very tiny, but tasty wines. That and the fact that there was a SUPER AWESOME AND NOT ANNOYING IN ANY KIND OF WAY girl there that Geoff took the liberty of coming up to each one of us and saying how much he wanted to punch her in the face. Other than that, they had a cat and it was almost like being in Los Olivos...very intimate.
Fleury-SUUUUUPER tiny and AWESOME!!! It was just the six of us in the tasting. The best part was at the end, our pourer left us with the wine while he was ringing us up. His advice was to revisit anything that we were still not sure about and we did....oh WE DID!!! The only thing was because we were in their very small barrelling facility, it was full of teeny tiny flying beetles, but we got to meet the owners. Oh and the vino was no so malo.
Last but not least, our visit to Rutherford Grill-Sure, it's a lot like Houston's, but Ohhhh, it's so much better! I mean, you're in freaking Napa!!! There's no corkage fee for the wines that you're destined to bring in, plus...the bill was only $200 for 6 of us. Definitely worth the time and the hour long wait...I'm just sayin...
So it may be boring to some, but I truly look forward to the visits and oh hey...here are some pictures just in case I've peaked your curiosity.
Ok, so on to the real reason for all this blither. We were lucky to once again visit Napa this past weekend and it was another memorable experience to say the least. Let's see, there was Stags' leap (not Stag's Leap Cellars, mind you, the Vineyard...that's right, with the apostraphe AFTER the "S" as Geoff mentioned many times on our trip). There was another Mustard's rendezvous...and there was much pain on the last day. Nevertheless, it was a good time and I just wanted to recap with my favorite and less well known wineries visited, just in case anyone planning on visiting anytime soon was interested. So without further ado...
Provenance-Small and cozy tasting room, friendly pour staff...deeeelishhh Cabernet and their port is super smoky and has a super clean and clear finish. I think what I enjoyed most was how cozy it was, especially after we ran in and out of the rain, plus it was the first place I was able to enjoy the sound of Sean slurping the wine up...mmm sounded just like a kid blowing bubbles into his mouth.
HaGafen-Very tiny, but tasty wines. That and the fact that there was a SUPER AWESOME AND NOT ANNOYING IN ANY KIND OF WAY girl there that Geoff took the liberty of coming up to each one of us and saying how much he wanted to punch her in the face. Other than that, they had a cat and it was almost like being in Los Olivos...very intimate.
Fleury-SUUUUUPER tiny and AWESOME!!! It was just the six of us in the tasting. The best part was at the end, our pourer left us with the wine while he was ringing us up. His advice was to revisit anything that we were still not sure about and we did....oh WE DID!!! The only thing was because we were in their very small barrelling facility, it was full of teeny tiny flying beetles, but we got to meet the owners. Oh and the vino was no so malo.
Last but not least, our visit to Rutherford Grill-Sure, it's a lot like Houston's, but Ohhhh, it's so much better! I mean, you're in freaking Napa!!! There's no corkage fee for the wines that you're destined to bring in, plus...the bill was only $200 for 6 of us. Definitely worth the time and the hour long wait...I'm just sayin...
So it may be boring to some, but I truly look forward to the visits and oh hey...here are some pictures just in case I've peaked your curiosity.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Better Late Than Never
Yes yes...I know all 2 of the readers out there are furious that the posting came to a dead halt for about 2 months. What can I say, a girl's busy and has been feeling very uninspired lately. Whatever you say! So I was driving home today, listening for the 5ooth time to my Holiday mix of 2006. It was not a very season-inspired mix, but really just a mishmosh of songs that summed up the year for me. It was, after all a fairly eventful one out of my 30 (hopefully well-spent) alive, so I thought I would share the songs and what each meant to me.
I've also been oh-so-kind enough to include most of the lyric links for you. Call me a big mush (or don't for those of you who REALLY know me) if you will, but they've all been picked for very specific reasons. Read on my dears and you will find out why...
1. Extraordinary Machine-Fiona Apple
***Oh good god I cannot say enough about the album of which this song is the title to. I was VERY lucky to get to see her in 2006 at the Honda Center (formerly Arrowhead Pond) and it was something that meant so much to me that I will truly never forget it. This song is so ultimately me, it's not even funny...here are the lyrics, you can decide for yourself if you agree.
2. On the Radio-Regina Spektor
***The first Regina album I was lucky enough to come into contact with and listen to in it's entirety over one of my evening drives was "Begin to Hope". I think I got a little teary over quite a few of the songs, but this one took me about a month to get through without getting that little ball in the back of my throaght. (ummm...my vision's a little foggy right now) One verse in particular will still get me at certain times but regarless of that, this is one of ALL of the songs that I love on this album that I hold so very near and dear to my heart. Lyrics here.
3. There Goes the Fear-The Doves
***Honestly, all I see and hear in my mind is Geoff singing to me. It's just one of those bands and songs that will always remind me of him. Lyrics here
4. You Wouldn't Like Me-Tegan and Sara
***The first song on "So Jealous" and jefe and I listened to it one day when we were just running errands. It was just one of those days we really didn't do anything but had the best day. If you saw me by myself in my car while I was listening to this, you'd probably laugh at the me and myself party I'm having. It's a little insecure but it makes me smile.
5. Age of Consent-New Order
***We probably played this about 100 times on our way back and forth to Napa as well as Los Olivos...both trips taken at the beginning of 2006. To me, although the lyrics don't say so...this song sounds they way falling in love feels.
6. Magic In the Air-Badly Drawn Boy
***Tarek introduced me and I've never looked back. In his words, it's about innocent love. Although the words are forthcoming, I'm a sucker for the piano.
7. It Must Be Love-Madness
***Sappy, but not so sappy that I feel like a big sappy sap. Lyricis here.
8. I Can't Go For That-Hall and Oates
***It's sad, but it reminds me of a person I don't talk to so much anymore. Takes me back to a silly time and I get really silly when this is in my head. I won't even post the lyrics because I think it's just a teeny tiny bit too painful and awful but i LOVE it.
9. Love and Happiness-Al Green
***Gotta have some Al...he makes everything better. To be honest, it's just a beautiful song and just fucking sums it all up.
10. God Only Knows-The Beach Boys
***Don't have "Pet Sounds"? Good god people!!! What the F is wrong with you???? Get thee to Tower (oh wait) get thee to wherever and pick it up. Seriously...GO!!!! Check it...oh and that's not even the best song on the album.
11. Love Will Keep Us Together-Captain and Tenille
***What can I say...it's my number one karaoke choice (trust me, I tried to do "Photograph" by freaking Def Leppard-it was UGLY!!!). Plus, I know all the words and I don't want you stealing my showstoppah so find them yourself!!!
12. Suavecito-Malo
***Always loved this song. It reminds me of when I was a kid, is so my people and now it will always remind me of my gramma.
13. Ask-The Smiths
***Geoff loves the Smiths...I love him. I could listen to it over and over again. Lyrics here
14. Mahgeeta-My Morning Jacket
***This is something that was highlighted and fucking bolded for the DJ at the wedding and I never fucking heard it. Goddamn $1700 DJ that thinks he knows it all. Look it up, seriously...you BETTA listen.
15. Waltz (Better Than Fine)- Fiona Apple
***So sweet, and yes...it SO defies the law of a good mix, what with the artist duplication, but I really don't give a flying you know mutha f'ing what. I don't know how many times I need to reiterate, but I LOOOOVE Fiona Apple and this song just reminds me that I'm in a really good place right now and luckier beyond belief. I hope it gives you the same pleasure.
Of course, there were runners-up, but they were a little more personal and seriously...people get sick of being reminded of how happy one is, especially me...even if it IS me. Anyway, I have a couple of up and comer's for 2007...we'll just have to see if my prospects now will hold true at the end of the year. Although it may be belated...Chin Chin 2007, loves...I think we have another big one to look forward to!!!
I've also been oh-so-kind enough to include most of the lyric links for you. Call me a big mush (or don't for those of you who REALLY know me) if you will, but they've all been picked for very specific reasons. Read on my dears and you will find out why...
1. Extraordinary Machine-Fiona Apple
***Oh good god I cannot say enough about the album of which this song is the title to. I was VERY lucky to get to see her in 2006 at the Honda Center (formerly Arrowhead Pond) and it was something that meant so much to me that I will truly never forget it. This song is so ultimately me, it's not even funny...here are the lyrics, you can decide for yourself if you agree.
2. On the Radio-Regina Spektor
***The first Regina album I was lucky enough to come into contact with and listen to in it's entirety over one of my evening drives was "Begin to Hope". I think I got a little teary over quite a few of the songs, but this one took me about a month to get through without getting that little ball in the back of my throaght. (ummm...my vision's a little foggy right now) One verse in particular will still get me at certain times but regarless of that, this is one of ALL of the songs that I love on this album that I hold so very near and dear to my heart. Lyrics here.
3. There Goes the Fear-The Doves
***Honestly, all I see and hear in my mind is Geoff singing to me. It's just one of those bands and songs that will always remind me of him. Lyrics here
4. You Wouldn't Like Me-Tegan and Sara
***The first song on "So Jealous" and jefe and I listened to it one day when we were just running errands. It was just one of those days we really didn't do anything but had the best day. If you saw me by myself in my car while I was listening to this, you'd probably laugh at the me and myself party I'm having. It's a little insecure but it makes me smile.
5. Age of Consent-New Order
***We probably played this about 100 times on our way back and forth to Napa as well as Los Olivos...both trips taken at the beginning of 2006. To me, although the lyrics don't say so...this song sounds they way falling in love feels.
6. Magic In the Air-Badly Drawn Boy
***Tarek introduced me and I've never looked back. In his words, it's about innocent love. Although the words are forthcoming, I'm a sucker for the piano.
7. It Must Be Love-Madness
***Sappy, but not so sappy that I feel like a big sappy sap. Lyricis here.
8. I Can't Go For That-Hall and Oates
***It's sad, but it reminds me of a person I don't talk to so much anymore. Takes me back to a silly time and I get really silly when this is in my head. I won't even post the lyrics because I think it's just a teeny tiny bit too painful and awful but i LOVE it.
9. Love and Happiness-Al Green
***Gotta have some Al...he makes everything better. To be honest, it's just a beautiful song and just fucking sums it all up.
10. God Only Knows-The Beach Boys
***Don't have "Pet Sounds"? Good god people!!! What the F is wrong with you???? Get thee to Tower (oh wait) get thee to wherever and pick it up. Seriously...GO!!!! Check it...oh and that's not even the best song on the album.
11. Love Will Keep Us Together-Captain and Tenille
***What can I say...it's my number one karaoke choice (trust me, I tried to do "Photograph" by freaking Def Leppard-it was UGLY!!!). Plus, I know all the words and I don't want you stealing my showstoppah so find them yourself!!!
12. Suavecito-Malo
***Always loved this song. It reminds me of when I was a kid, is so my people and now it will always remind me of my gramma.
13. Ask-The Smiths
***Geoff loves the Smiths...I love him. I could listen to it over and over again. Lyrics here
14. Mahgeeta-My Morning Jacket
***This is something that was highlighted and fucking bolded for the DJ at the wedding and I never fucking heard it. Goddamn $1700 DJ that thinks he knows it all. Look it up, seriously...you BETTA listen.
15. Waltz (Better Than Fine)- Fiona Apple
***So sweet, and yes...it SO defies the law of a good mix, what with the artist duplication, but I really don't give a flying you know mutha f'ing what. I don't know how many times I need to reiterate, but I LOOOOVE Fiona Apple and this song just reminds me that I'm in a really good place right now and luckier beyond belief. I hope it gives you the same pleasure.
Of course, there were runners-up, but they were a little more personal and seriously...people get sick of being reminded of how happy one is, especially me...even if it IS me. Anyway, I have a couple of up and comer's for 2007...we'll just have to see if my prospects now will hold true at the end of the year. Although it may be belated...Chin Chin 2007, loves...I think we have another big one to look forward to!!!
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